


Constellation

by Str4y



Series: Luxury [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Beaches, Coping, Dark Past, Flashbacks, Funeral, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, Memories, Mental Breakdown, Metaphors, Moving On, Nightmares, No Smut, Past Relationship(s), Sad, Sequel, Trypophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Str4y/pseuds/Str4y
Summary: Hyunjin wasn’t sure he’d ever recover after Felix’s death. He would never thought that staying in Australia to stay close to Felix’s gravesite would lead him to working in a barbecue restaurant, nor did he ever see the owners dimple-faced nephew making his way into his life.Felix told Hyunjin that if they ever parted ways that he couldn’t date someone with freckles, but he never said anything about dimples.Sequel/Holes 2
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: Luxury [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853947
Comments: 28
Kudos: 132





	Constellation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My summary per usual is horrible. It’s basically holes 2 where Hyunjin moves to Australia to be closer to Felix and he meets Chan! 
> 
> Minor tw is just the mentions of The past events from holes and nightmares that Hyunjin has that aren’t too vivid but just in case that bothers you...maybe skip out on this? This actually turned out a lot softer than I thought it would! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please check out holes it’s the original!!! Thought it’s not necessary for this soft Hyunchan!

——constellation——

  
  


The air was absolute heaven. There was nothing better than this feeling of cool ocean air against his skin. He threw his head back as he sat in the sand, toes curling as the sound of waves filled his ears. 

  
  


Hyunjin loved the beach. He loved the sounds and the smells. He loved the feeling of sand and the wind in his hair. 

  
  


He  _ loved _ the beach. 

  
  


“Hey, are you just going to sit there?” Felix laughed, crouching down with a scrunched nose that moved the constellation of freckles on his face. 

  
  


Hyunjin smirked before reaching out to plant three fingers over freckles at Felix’s face, the Australian laughing happily before swatting Hyunjin away to crawl into his lap. 

  
  


“So yes?”

  
  


Hyunjin sighed, running his fingers down Felix’s bare back, “would you say yes?”

  
  


Felix arched his brow, “considering you’re making no effort to move, yeah.”

  
  


Hyunjin watched Felix closely, moving a hand to his cheek, “what if I asked you a question?”

  
  


“What kind of question?”

  
  


“Would you say yes?”

  
  


“Depends on the question,” Felix laughed. 

  
  


———

  
  


Hyunjin splashed the water against his face, rubbing at his cheeks and underneath of his eyes before taking his palms to the hand towel, quickly pressing it to his face. 

  
  


His face was different from usual. Where it was usually bright and full of life, it was now decimated into a permanent apathetic state. There was no life in his dark eyes. 

  
  


How could he have any sign or life when his life had been taken from him? How could he smile or show any emotion when the man he loved was—

  
  


“Hyunjin, are you ready?”

  
  


Hyunjin stared at himself a moment longer before turning to the woman with the frown at the door, “it’s time, sweetie.”

  
  


There were many things Hyunjin wanted to experience. He wanted to go skydiving, and he wanted to go on a cruise. He wanted to get married too. There were so many things Hyunjin badly wanted to do in his life. 

  
  


Burying his fiancé wasn’t one of them. 

  
  


Hyunjin had to stand between his own parents and Felix’s parents, eyes settled on the white coffin that was shut. 

  
  


Maybe that hurt the most. The closed coffin. Felix was found in a condition that nobody could stomach at the funeral. Not even Hyunjin had taken the sight of his dead fiancé on the morgue table well. He’s puked within seconds of the sheet being pulled off of him. And it wasn’t because he knew his fiancé was dead, it’s because of the state of the man’s body. 

  
  


He didn’t even know it was Felix at first. It didn’t look like him. 

  
  


Holes. Covered in thousands of holes that destroyed any features that Felix once held.

Apparently every single body from that apartment building looked like that, covered in horrific holes. 

  
  


Hyunjin held his stomach as he watched Felix’s coffin, trying his best to not crumble in front of his fiancés parents who were sobbing beside them. Hyunjin had every right to crumble, but something about the way Felix’s usually bright mother sobbed really got to him. He felt like he should stay strong for their sake. 

  
  


Hyunjin would have badly preferred a Korean funeral too. Felix didn’t need to be buried. He should have been cremated. This was too much for him. The flight there had been too much. The heat had been too much. Everything had just been too much for Hyunjin. 

  
  


More than anything else, Hyunjin just wanted answers. He wanted to know why the love of his life was found in Seungmin’s apartment. Why Seungmin and Minho had been found beside him, in the exact same state covered in holes. 

  
  


He just wanted answers. 

  
  


“Hyunjin—“

  
  


Hyunjin twitched uncomfortably as warm hand cupped his face, his mother’s sad eyes pulling him down to look at her, “Sweetie, do you need anything?”

  
  


His mother was the best person in the entire world. She had gone to great lengths to soothe Hyunjin. She loved him so much. She did everything she could to treat him with extra care and she’d been his crutch. 

  
  


Hyunjin remembered telling his mother what had happened to Felix. How she burst into tears, causing a rippling effect and having Hyunjin collapse into her. 

  
  


She was a great mother. Hyunjin didn’t know how he’d manage to live without her help. Felix had been his crutch before. He was the light of his life. 

  
  


There were times where Hyunjin wished he’d moved in with Felix sooner. But they agreed to wait till they were married…

  
  


They were just a month away. 

  
  


Hyunjin stared into the glass of wine, liquid gathered at the very bottom of the glass. He never liked wine much, but Felix and Minho loved it. 

  
  


_ Minho _ . Hyunjin had gone to Minho and Seungmin’s funerals weeks before he traveled to Australia to bury Felix. 

  
  


Seungmin’s official funeral was first. His parents knew he was dead the day the news reported that the buildings were being put on indefinite lockdown. His parents were good people, but they could see the looks on the apartment managers faces. The staff being interviewed...his parents told everyone to prepare a funeral. Their son wasn’t coming home. 

  
  


Hyunjin wished they hadn’t been right. 

  
  


Minho was shortly after. Hyunjin couldn’t look his parents in the eye. He never thought he’d see Minho’s father weep. He figured his dad had hated Minho, but clearly...he cared to some fucked up extent while he was on the ground begging for Minho to ‘Rest In Peace’. 

  
  


Hyunjin had hope for the longest time. The news told them that everyone was okay, and that they were going to let everyone go as soon as possible. The news said they weren’t even in the apartment. 

  
  


But they lied. 

  
  


And twenty days into the lockdown, Hyunjin received a chilling message. 

  
  


He never expected it. He had panicked when Felix stopped messaging. He knew there was a chance they cut communication or something, but it terrified him. And he just wanted Felix to be safe. 

  
  


But when he got the message from Seungmin’s phone...his entire world crashed. 

  
  


‘ _ Felix loved you.’ _

  
  


Hyunjin had never felt more pain. The confirmation that everyone he cared about that lived in that building was dead. He didn’t want that. He never wanted that. 

  
  


But days later after Hyunjin exposed the messages and people protesting finally had proof...they opened the building. 

  
  


Not  _ everyone _ was dead. But most of the inhabitants were. 

  
  


The hallways had been littered in bodies, reporters said. People covered in sheets and  _ holes _ . 

  
  


It made Hyunjin’s stomach twist. 

  
  


He remembered paying the news crew who would be taking on Felix’s floor to please tell him what happened to the people there. 

  
  


He didn’t want the proof. Or the truth. 

  
  


The picture of three bodies curled up in the bed was too much for him. 

  
  


If Seungmin would have waited just a day longer…maybe he’d still be alive, they said. He’d only been dead for a few hours when his body was recovered. 

  
  


That stung. So fucking much. 

  
  


Reporters said multiple people died on the ground floor trying to escape. And that someone had even managed to get to the elevator. 

  
  


The elevator that was stopped at floor twenty-seven. Felix’s floor. 

  
  


Hyunjin closed his eyes tight as he stood in front of his bathroom sink. 

  
  


He was so numb. He wanted to stop seeing Felix’s destroyed face every time he closed his eyes. He wanted to see that happy smiling man, not that horrific corpse. 

  
  


“Felix…” Hyunjin dragged himself to his motel bed, sliding into the covers and taking out his phone. 

  
  


Felix looked so happy on his phone. Bright eyes and constellations spread across his cheeks. He missed him so badly. Felix was so funny and cute. He was loud and caring. Felix was charming. 

  
  


_ Was. _

  
  


Hyunjin smiled through his sob as he found the photo of Felix, Seungmin, and Minho at a cafe with him. He remembered that the cafe was on the ground floor of their luxury building, always busy and always filled with happy faces. 

  
  


Those faces were all dead now. Just like the three smiley men in the photo. 

  
  


Hyunjin took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tight and trying his best to eliminate Felix’s face from his head. Just for a little while. 

  
  


He hadn’t slept since he left Korea. He hadn’t slept a full night since he received that text from Seungmin on that horrible day. 

  
  


How could he? 

  
  


Hyunjin forced his eyes open as he felt sunlight brush against his cheek. He’d gotten  _ some _ sleep, well...after waking five separate times and having mild panic attacks that is. 

  
  


He sat up in his bed, eyes weary as he scanned the hotel room. He was supposed to go back to Korea today. But part of him really couldn't. 

  
  


He could stay here if he  _ really _ wanted to. Besides, what was in Korea for him? Acting? He didn’t need that anymore. Not that he could stomach it. He couldn’t pretend to love someone on screen when the love of his life was in the ground. 

  
  


Hyunjin should stay in Australia, right? With Felix. 

  
  


So he did. 

  
  


It was weird. How healing Australia was for him. He didn’t speak nearly as much English as he could have. And without Felix he wasn’t practicing too much, but the air was nice. The people were nice. The wildlife and the vibes were nice. 

  
  


He didn’t want to leave Felix. He didn’t want to leave Australia. 

  
  


———

  
  


Hyunjin pulled a face as water hit his cheek, eyes scanning across the table to a giggling Minho who’s mouth was biting the top of his straw. Minho was usually like that. Really playful. 

  
  


So Hyunjin did it back, soda smacking Minho’s nose as he tilted his head at his own straw, a big smile stretching across his face. 

  
  


“Ew gross!” 

  
  


“You started it!” Hyunjin laughed as Felix’s fingers made their way into Hyunjin’s, the younger man's chin resting at his shoulder. 

  
  


“Clowns.” Felix laughed under his breath, nuzzling into Hyunjin close. 

  
  


“You know how they are.” Seungmin sighed as he slid into his seat beside Minho, passing around their order from the apartments ground floor cafe. 

  
  


Usually apartment food sounded disgusting to Hyunjin, but this was a luxury apartment. All the food was incredible and expensive. Things Hyunjin never thought he’d taste. 

  
  


“Clowns.” Felix repeated, getting a tiny smile from Seungmin. 

  
  


“When’s the wedding again?” Minho asked suddenly, causing the other three to look at him, “I’m excited for you two.”

  
  


Hyunjin could feel Felix’s fingers tighten around his own as he buried his face into Hyunjin’s shoulder, “soon. Under two months now.”

  
  


“I can’t believe he said yes.” Seungmin teased, “you’ve only been hinting at marriage since you two met.”

  
  


Hyunjin scrunched his nose as Felix clung around him, laughs warm against his neck, “I’m surprised you two aren’t working on getting together.”

  
  


With that Seungmin shut up, stuffing his face of the expensive bread Hyunjin couldn’t pronounce the name of, Minho giving a slight grin before chewing on his straw again. 

  
  


“They’ll get together eventually.” Felix coughed, letting Hyunjin go to take a sip of his soda, “maybe they’re waiting for our wedding so they can steal the attention!” 

  
  


Seungmin’s face was a cute pink shade. 

  
  


“Just make sure they spotlight them sometime during the dance,” Hyunjin added, Minho giving him a wink as Seungmin folded into himself. 

  
  


Hyunjin really wished they would have gotten together. 

———

  
  


Hyunjin ran his fingertips along the photo of his friends at the cafe, choking back sobs as he focused on Felix and how bright his smile was. Felix loved him so much. 

  
  


It had taken a while, but Hyunjin had been informed that Felix’s death was a suicide. 

  
  


He’d written a letter that was found covered in blood on the counter detailing...a lot. 

  
  


Felix had started the letter with an apology to Hyunjin and his parents—even to Hyunjin’s parents. He told them that he knew he was going to suffer and he would never get out. So he ended his life. 

  
  


Felix talked about the bodies that piled in the hallways, how with every new corpse he lost more and more hope of ever getting out. 

  
  


It stung to read about Minho. 

  
  


Hyunjin had wished Seungmin and he had gotten together, according to Felix's letter, they finally had hours before Minho died. 

  
  


Minho died first of the three. He died about a week or so before Felix. Felix wrote about how helping Seungmin pull Minho’s body from the bathtub might have been what set him off. Hyunjin wasn’t sure he would have been able to see Minho like that. He couldn’t imagine how Felix had felt. 

  
  


He missed Felix so much. 

  
  


Hyunjin curled into himself on the bed, covers pulled over his head as he clutched the photo close, body shaking through the uncontrollable sobs. 

  
  


It had been so long and yet it felt like he had talked to Felix just days ago. They were saying goodnight before the line cut. It felt like yesterday. 

  
  


Hyunjin was winded, choking through tears as sleep overtook him. Most nights were like this, looking at his friends in whatever photo he could find, crying over them and passing out. 

  
  


Every day. 

  
  


———

  
  


“Yeah they won’t let us leave...I don’t know when they will.”

  
  


“It’s only been three days? I’m sure you guys will be free to go soon,” Hyunjin laughed, popping a chip into his mouth, “you’ll be fine.”

  
  


“I’m losing it. Like...I’m getting really worried that there’s more to this thing…”

  
  


Felix was panicking. Of course he was. 

  
  


“My downstairs neighbors haven’t been...they won’t yell at me.”

  
  


“Why would they?” Hyunjin asked, leaning over his counter as he continued snacking on his chips. 

  
  


“They always do…”

  
  


Hyunjin frowned, “maybe they tested that floor?”

  
  


“Maybe…” Felix didn’t sound convinced, “I miss you so much, Hyunjin.”

  
  


“I miss you too. I’m so used to you coming by unexpectedly but...now I’m watching the door waiting for you to come by. I miss you a lot, Lixie.”

  
  


Felix huffed, “it’s been exhausting already. I’m glad I’m with Seung and Minho but at the same time I just really want to see you.”

  
  


“You will soon, they’ll let you guys leave after they test your floor and you can stay here with me if you want?”

  
  


Hyunjin could just feel the smile from Felix. He couldn’t see it, but he knew it was there. 

  
  


“I love you so much, Hyunjin.”

  
  


“I love you too, you should get some sleep okay? It’s getting late.”

  
  


“I will, hey did they ask you about gift baskets or anything? They delivered this basket full of games and wine for me.”

  
  


Hyunjin arched his brow, “maybe they asked your parents.”

  
  


“It’s the wine we drink...the cheap kind.”

  
  


Hyunjin wasn’t sure that wine was popular at all, “did anyone else get things?” 

  
  


“Yeah Minho got wine and cigs. I haven’t seen Seungmin yet. He’s been painting since this shit started but...who knew our wine brand?”

  
  


“I don’t know. Maybe it was a lucky guess?”

  
  


Felix sighed on the other line, “I don’t know. It’s really weird and random for them to do that.”

  
  


“Maybe…”

  
  


“You sound tired. I should let you go, right?”

  
  


“Only if you want. I don’t mind staying up with you.”

  
  


Felix laughed, “I’d love to stay up and talk to you. I could talk to you all night long. But I should let you sleep, yeah?”

  
  


Hyunjin hummed, popping another chip, “I love you, alright? I’ll see you as soon as they open those doors!”

  
  


“Oh sure you—“

  
  


The line cut. 

  
  


Hyunjin pulled the phone back, tapping Felix’s icon again only to be told that the line was busy. Which was weird. Felix wouldn’t hang up on him like that. 

  
  


Hyunjin huffed as he dragged himself to his couch, collapsing down with the bag of chips at his stomach as he texted Felix goodnight and that he’d talk to him tomorrow. 

  
  


Nothing could have told Hyunjin that would be the last time he’d hear from Felix. 

  
  


———

  
  


Australia was really warm. Hyunjin had been there maybe seven months now. He stayed with Felix’s family for the first four, helping his parents out the best he could while they allowed him to stay in Felix’s old room. With time he had his own apartment, his parents helping him pay for it. They had been so insanely supportive and understanding of him leaving Korea. 

  
  


He liked it better in Australia. He’d picked up enough English and even found a job at a restaurant close by. Thank god the owners were Korean. It was a mix of unfamiliarity and home. 

  
  


Waiting tables wasn’t as glamorous as acting, but Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to try acting again. At least not anytime soon. 

  
  


“How would you like that cooked?” His English was still a little choppy, but he was almost there. He was sure he’d forget Korean and pick up one of those interesting Aussie accents if he kept this up. 

  
  


“Rare.” Hyunjin was shocked by the Korean, not that Korean patrons didn’t come by. 

  
  


“And what would you like on the side?”

  
  


“How do you like your steaks?” More Korean, “you look like you’d eat them rare too.”

  
  


Hyunjin stammered a moment, some words getting lost with his thoughts that were telling him to reply in English, “Uh, how do I like my steak?” 

  
  


“How long have you been working here?” English. The switch up was a little naseauting. 

  
  


“A few months...do I seem new?” Hyunjin sighed as he held his notepad tight. 

  
  


“I’ve just never seen you here. I was out of the country for a while but...usually this place always has the same people working here. Family and stuff.”

  
  


Hyunjin nodded, “yeah they pitied me I think.”

  
  


“Oh?”

  
  


Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. As comfortable as he’d gotten talking about what happened to him, he wasn’t sure he should be going around telling strangers.

  
  


“It’s nothing. I just needed a job and wasn’t fluent in English so they—“

  
  


“Gave you a job. My aunts like that. When she sees a good person who needs a job she pulls them in.”

  
  


Hyunjin blinked, “oh your aunt is the owner?”

  
  


“Yeah. They’ve had this place for years. That’s why I asked if you were new. Usually I recognize everyone.” The man leaned on his palm, “I’m Chan, by the way. I think it’s weird that at restaurants you give your name to the customer but never get their name back.”

  
  


Hyunjin gave the slightest grin, “it is weird, isn’t it?”

  
  


Chan smiled back, “how do you like your steaks, Hyunjin?”

  
  


———

  
  


“Medium rare!” 

  
  


“Ew gross.” Minho sighed, cigarette at his lips, “medium.”

  
  


“What do you eat? Raw?”

  
  


Minho arched his brow as he puffed smoke, “what if I said yes.”

  
  


“You’re sick.” 

  
  


“Felix likes his rare too, weirdo.” Minho laughed. 

  
  


Hyunjin scrunched his nose, “what about Seung?”

  
  


“A mystery.” Minho exhaled, cigarette rest between his fingers as they sat at Hyunjin’s outside table, fairy lights twinkling against the dark night. 

  
  


“You should ask him. Out I mean. For steak.”

  
  


Minho took a deep breath as he crushed his cigarette against the ashtray. He only had an ashtray for Minho, “one day. Maybe.”

  
  


“When will you two admit it? We’re here about to get married and you two are stagnant.”

  
  


“Maybe we don’t like each other?”

  
  


Hyunjin tilted his head, lips pouted in teasing disbelief, “bullshit.”

  
  


“Maybe we‘re just...”

  
  


“Scared?”

  
  


Minho lay the cigarette butt in the ashtray, leaning back into the chair to look off into the distance, “I don’t know, really.”

  
  


“I’ve been waiting for you two to get together. It’s literally all anyone around you guys wants.”

  
  


“Oh really?” Minho scoffed, “how invasive.”

  
  


Hyunjin always wanted them to get together. Minho and Seungmin were perfect. They were as perfect as Felix and Hyunjin were. The mold was perfect. They were just...Hyunjin wished he could have seen them together. 

  
  


He wished he was there when they finally got together. But at the same time it stung that it was brief. So brief that just hours after those two finally acted on their feelings, Minho was settled lifeless in a bathtub. 

  
  


———

  
  


“How is it?”

  
  


Hyunjin was in heaven. Chan’s steak tasted phenomenal in his mouth. He wasn’t sure he’d ever tasted anything  _ this  _ amazing before. 

  
  


“It’s really good,” Hyunjin covered his palm over his mouth full of food, “seriously!”

  
  


Chan beamed, “I’m glad you like it.”

  
  


Hyunjin hadn’t told Chan about Felix. Part of him didn’t want to. Chan and him had gotten close since they’d met, and Hyunjin really liked the company. Chan was fresh air. He was new and Hyunjin loved not being pitied for once. Chan treated him so normally. 

  
  


“How long are you staying?” Chan asked, taking a bite of his own steak. 

  
  


“What?” Hyunjin felt a little nauseous at that question, “what do you mean?”

  
  


“My aunt said you mentioned moving a lot.”

  
  


Hyunjin looked at his plate, “oh, yeah I used to move around a lot...but I like it here.”

  
  


Chan smiler, “that’s good. There’s a lot here you’d like…Australia is huge.”

  
  


It didn’t seem like Chan knew about Felix. He hoped his aunt hadn’t mentioned his past. He really didn’t want that. 

  
  


“Maybe you should show me around?”

  
  


“Maybe I will!”

  
  


———

  
  


‘Lix, I can’t sleep. I can’t eat.’ Hyunjin texted him a thousand times. But Felix wouldn’t respond. He wouldn’t answer and it hurt. It  _ stung _ . He needed Felix to answer him. He was so worried. 

  
  


Hyunjin was holding onto the chance that his fiancé was alive. But everyday he grew more and more weary that something horrible had happened. 

  
  


Minho wouldn’t ignore him. Seungmin wouldn’t ignore him. Felix wouldn’t ignore him. 

  
  


They wouldn’t ignore him...they wouldn’t. 

  
  


Why wouldn’t they answer him?!

  
  


Hyunjin took it back. He would’ve preferred no answer to this. 

  
  


‘Felix loved you’

  
  


It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t good. It hurt. It hurt so badly. The past tense followed by the sorry and that his friends were still in that building. 

  
  


Hyunjin was hurting so much and he had no one to comfort him. 

  
  


He wasn’t sure he’d ever find that comfort again. 

  
  


———

  
  


Hyunjin sat at the beach, toes curling in the sand as air whipped his cheeks. 

  
  


But this was a different beach. With a different person. 

  
  


“How is it?” Chan asked, voice bubbly and proud as dark locks of hair hit his cheeks. He was so happy, just sitting on the beach with Hyunjin. 

  
  


It was nice. 

  
  


“It reminds me of things,” Hyunjin drew a breath. 

  
  


They’d been friends for months, now. It had almost hit the year mark of Felix, Seungmin, and Minho’s deaths. 

  
  


He had to tell him.

  
  


“I was engaged once.”

  
  


Chan looked a little startled, but then he rested his head onto his knees as he watched Hyunjin with this soft smile that caused dimples to settle at either side of his face. 

  
  


Hyunjin took a deeper breath, lungs feeling like they’d collapse, “it’s almost been a year since he died.”

  
  


Chan stayed quiet, face altering slightly, and those dimples disappearing. 

  
  


Hyunjin could feel the air whipping against his tears, “there was this apartment in seoul. Really luxurious and nice. Full of rich people, really…”

  
  


It hurt. 

  
  


“My fiancé lived there. Two of my best friends did too. They all met on the same floor and Felix introduced me to them...they became my best friends too.”

  
  


Hyunjin admired Chan’s silence. He was listening. He wouldn’t interrupt him. 

  
  


“There was a water contamination that caused the building to be quarantined.”

  
  


Hyunjin glanced over to chan, who seemed to be hit with realization. He must’ve heard. He had to have heard. 

  
  


“My fiancé killed himself less than twenty days in. They opened the building days later.” Hyunjin gripped his arms tight that were crossed over his knees, “he was infected with whatever happened in there and he…”

  
  


Hyunjin felt a hand at his own, Chan’s thumb running across his knuckle. It felt nice. It was comforting. 

  
  


“I lost him. I lost him and my best friends. I’m...this beach reminds me of them. I proposed to Felix on a beach like this.”

  
  


Chan winced, “Felix?”

  
  


Hyunjin was hurt. Did Chan know Felix? 

  
  


“Did you know him?”

  
  


“I only knew of him. He lived around here...”

  
  


Hyunjin folded further into himself, strain overtaking his body. 

  
  


“I’m so sorry, Hyunjin.”

  
  


“That’s why I came here. I came to Australia because he lived here and—“

  
  


Chan was really warm. Chan’s chest was warm. Chan was so unbelievably warm that Hyunjin could collapse comfortably and cry. Hyunjin didn’t know why, but he felt so safe in this man's grasp. 

  
  


———

  
  


Felix’s gravesite was pretty. Hyunjin hadn’t visited since they buried him. It had been too hard for him. Too unimaginably hard to see his loved ones picture on the marble gravestone. Too hard to see the teddy bears and flowers scattered around.

So many people loved Felix.  _ He  _ loved Felix. 

  
  


———

  
  


“SunChips again?” Seungmin snickered, pencil glued to the canvas at his wall, “what are you going to do if they stop making them?”

  
  


Hyunjin scrunched his nose in annoyance as he popped another chip, “I’ll die.”

  
  


“We’re all going to outlive you anyways. You’re the most careless person I know.” Seungmin jeered back, turning to stick his tongue out like a child which wasn’t like Seungmin usually, but he seemed to be comfortable with Hyunjin in particular when it came to joking around. 

  
  


“Sure you will.” Hyunjin popped another chip as he rose from Seungmin’s couch, looking at the painting the man was working on, “what is it?”

  
  


“Well right now it’s just a draft.”

  
  


“What’s it going to be?” Hyunjin asked, forcing a chip into Seungmin’s mouth. 

  
  


The younger man laughed, chewing down the chip before pulling Hyunjin back some, “it’s a tree.”

  
  


“Ah, a tree?”

  
  


“It’s for Minho.”

  
  


Hyunjin gave Seungmin a look, “is it?”

  
  


“Yeah I mean...he’d like it, right?”

  
  


“I think he’ll like anything you produce, Seung.”

  
  


Seungmin smiled, looking over the painting, “it’s going to be so nice when it’s done…”

  
  


“I can’t wait to see the end result then. I know it’ll be great. And Minho’s going to adore it.”

  
  


Hyunjin had never seen Seungmin smile so wide. 

  
  


He never got to see the painting. All he knew was that Seungmin had finished it and destroyed it during their lockdown. The only photos of the painting he saw were of a beautiful backdrop with black paint smeared across the canvas. 

  
  


Hyunjin wished he could have seen it. 

  
  


———

  
  


“Here, drink this.” 

  
  


Hyunjin pulled his gaze from Chan’s floor, “what is it?” 

  
  


His voice was so hoarse. 

  
  


“Tea. It’ll help your throat and your head,” Chan smiled as he settled beside Hyunjin, “maybe your nerves too.”

  
  


“Thank you,” Hyunjin sighed as he took a sip of the warm tea, “you didn’t know him before did you?”

  
  


Chan shook his head slow, “I just remember seeing him come to the diner sometimes. Before he went to Korea I guess. When we saw the news and his photo...I don’t know I kind of stopped paying attention to it. They never mentioned anything about the families so I just...I don’t know.”

  
  


Hyunjin gripped the cup tightly, “the anniversary is coming up.”

  
  


“I’m so sorry, Hyunjin…”

  
  


“Thank you for taking me to the beach,” he started, getting an intrigued look from Chan, “I know I panicked but the beach has always been a good place for me. It’s where I met Seung and Minho, it’s where I proposed to Felix years later...it’s where I went after he died. It’s always been...such a calm place. A good place.”

  
  


Chan’s smile was weak, “well I can take you there anytime you want.”

  
  


Hyunjin set the mug of tea at the coffee table, “so you didn’t know I was related to Felix at all?”

  
  


Chan shook his head, “honestly...no. What are the odds that you started working for my aunt?” Chan laughed, biting into his bottom lip. 

  
  


“Sounds like I was meant to meet you.” Hyunjin joked, raising the tea back to his lips, “I haven’t had anyone to really talk to since I got here.”

  
  


“You’re a hermit?” Chan asked. 

  
  


“I wasn’t. I used to be an actor actually—“

  
  


“You’re kidding.”

  
  


Hyunjin took a deep breath, “yeah...I didn’t live in that five star luxury apartment with Felix because I couldn’t really afford it. I was just a rookie so I hadn’t really drawn much attention at all.”

  
  


“That’s so cool...I can see you being an actor, definitely.”

  
  


Hyunjin smiled, “is it my looks?”

  
  


“Your emotion,” Chan started, “you broke my heart out there on the beach. And I know that’s not acting but you just...your vibe makes people feel things I guess. I’ve had friends lose their loved ones and I’ve never felt so sorry or useless than I did out there.”

  
  


Hyunjin wasn’t sure how to reply to that. 

  
  


“If I could bring Felix back to you, I would. In a heartbeat I would.”

  
  


“If I act weird on the anniversary I’m sorry,” Hyunjin responded, “it’s not just Felix...I lost my two closest friends too.”

  
  


Chan nodded, “you’re allowed to mourn however you feel comfiest. I won’t judge you for anything. Ever.”

  
  


Hyunjin hadn’t known Chan very long. But in the time he’d known him he’d been...amazing. Chan was so funny and cute. He could be so loud and he was so caring. Chan was charming. He was—

  
  


Chan was a lot like Felix. 

  
  


No, he was so much like Felix that it should have terrified Hyunjin. But instead he just really enjoyed his company. Chan was so comfortable to be around. He was comfortable.

  
  


———

  
  


The nightmares were awful at first. Every time Hyunjin closed his eyes he’d see Felix’s body from the morgue, body covered in holes and face beyond gone. It wasn’t Felix. But it was. 

  
  


Hyunjin would try to close his eyes, but he never could. As Felix walked towards him, body littered in the horrifying holes, all Hyunjin could do was stand there. 

  
  


Every night he’d beg for it to go away. Every night he’d stand in horror as Felix reached him, body so far gone. And Felix would always touch him, the holes moving onto his own skin. 

  
  


Hyunjin used to wake up screaming, but lately he’d been letting Felix touch him. Letting the man rub his holes along Hyunjin until that bare skin made itself known. If Hyunjin waited long enough he could see Felix’s beautiful face, freckles on display and bright brown eyes looking right at him with the adoration he once knew. 

  
  


Hyunjin ignored that every time Felix was bare, he, himself, was covered in those holes that Felix had endured. If Hyunjin could have traded places with Felix, he would have. One hundred percent. He would have done it. 

  
  


———

  
  


“Sweetie, can you pass me that dish?”

  
  


Felix’s parents were having a get together. A memorial for Felix, Minho, and Seungmin. They’d planned it for a while, meeting up to celebrate the men’s lives. 

  
  


It was a little hard to celebrate when Minho’s mother arrived alone, a container of food Hyunjin couldn’t make out in her hands. 

  
  


A lot had happened after those boys died in that apartment. 

  
  


Seungmin’s parents moved to the states, unable to stay in Korea for obvious reason. But they seemed cheerful. They hugged Hyunjin and kissed his cheeks. They expressed how much they missed him and were glad he was doing okay. 

  
  


Minho’s parents on the other hand had taken a harder hit. Hyunjin was surprised when the call that Minho’s father had killed himself came in. Minho’s father wasn’t a great man. He was pretty horrible, actually. Minho wouldn’t ever tell them much, but Hyunjin was sure he would beat them. Just based on the bruises Minho wore...it made sense. 

  
  


He killed himself a month after the funeral. Minho’s mother seemed like she’d never recover. She lost her husband and her son. 

  
  


On the other hand, Felix’s parents were comfortable to be around. They joked around like Felix did, they were bubbly and polite to everyone. They almost seemed as if they hadn’t lost their son—but Hyunjin knew better. Their smiles and laughter was a facade. Just like Hyunjin’s. They were all in incomprehensible pain. 

  
  


The memorial was nice. Everyone seemed to get along well, and they were sharing all of these moments and memories they’d had with Felix, Seungmin, and Minho. Some not even Hyunjin had heard before. 

  
  


There was so much comfort. The only person who had kept to themselves was Minho’s mother. But Hyunjin really didn’t know how to approach her. He’d never spoken much to Minho’s family, really. He avoided them a lot. Unlike Felix and Seungmin, Minho seemed to want to keep his family away from them. 

  
  


Hyunjin figured that made sense. 

  
  


His phone buzzed as he stood at the long table of mostly eaten food, taking his attention from Minho’s mother who was staring at her untouched plate of food. 

  
  


“Hello?”

  
  


“Hey, how's it going?” It was Chan. 

  
  


“It’s going okay, actually. Everyone’s really comforting. I haven’t panicked over the stories of Felix growing up yet so...I think it’s going okay.”

  
  


“That’s good. Are you going to the…?”

  
  


“Grave. Yeah, we did earlier...to see Felix. Yeah.” Hyunjin took a deep breath, “I’m glad Felix’s parents did this. This memorial just...feels right.”

  
  


“I’m glad you’re doing alright. If you want to hang out tod—tomorrow I’m free.”

  
  


Hyunjin smiled, taking a glass of the wine that Felix loved to his lips, “I can see you today if you want. We’re finishing up here.”

  
  


“You should take the day to—“

  
  


“I feel pretty healed. Not...you know not entirely but this kinda boosted my mood.” Hyunjin took a breath, “do you want to sit at the beach with me?”

  
  


“Sure, Hyunjin.”

  
  


“Can you bring SunChips?”

  
  


———

  
  


“Why SunChips?” Chan asked, dark curls rustling in the wind against his cheeks, “and I could have brought you a change of clothes...you’re ruining that suit.” 

  
  


“The suit doesn’t matter. And SunChips are the best things created,” Hyunjin started, “I used to eat them all the time before Felix died.”

  
  


“Were they his thing?”

  
  


Hyunjin shook his head, “they’ve always been mine. You know...Seungmin would joke that I would die first of everyone.”

  
  


Chan frowned at that. 

  
  


“He’d say stuff like, ‘you’re so lazy you’ll never make it. Even Minho and his cigarettes would outlive the chip boy’.” Hyunjin laughed, looking at Chan with a slight grin, “who would have thought I’d be the last one?”

  
  


“I’m sorry—“

  
  


“No...no more sorrow I just want to breathe. Like...the memories are good. Ironic,” Hyunjin chuckled, “but good. Good memories.”

  
  


Chan’s frown altered slightly, “beach and SunChips. Are those your favorite things?”

  
  


“I like freckles too. They’re charming.”

  
  


“Felix.” Chan laughed, gazing back to the ocean. 

  
  


Hyunjin took a deep breath, “I also like dimples.”

  
  


Chan blinked, turning his head to Hyunjin, “did Felix have dimples too?”

  
  


“No, he didn’t.”

  
  


“Dimples are interesting…”

  
  


“They are,” Hyunjin watched Chan closely, “they’re charming…”

  
  


Chan’s face got a little pink. It was obvious. 

  
  


And maybe Hyunjin was obvious too, because Chan leaned in, plush lips brushing along Hyunjin’s briefly. 

  
  


But Chan pulled away, shaky gaze at the ocean. 

  
  


“You can kiss me if you want to.”

  
  


Chan’s face was so flushed. 

  
  


“I won’t break.”

  
  


Chan’s lips were slightly chapped from the cool air. And his hand was resting against Hyunjin’s knee as Hyunjin parted his lips for him. 

  
  


His kisses were so different from Felix’s. It felt more plush. So plush that Hyunjin melted against Chan’s mouth. 

  
  


It was heaven for a while. And once Chan finally pulled away Hyunjin could feel the cool air against his lips. 

  
  


“Was that okay?” Chan asked, eyes half lidded and focused on Hyunjin’s lips. 

  
  


“Yeah,” Hyunjin looked Chan over before taking a handful of curls into his hand, angling Chan’s head to the side as he pressed their mouths back together. 

  
  


It felt so nice. 

  
  


———

  
  


“If we ever break up, you’re not allowed to date anyone with freckles, got it?”

  
  


Hyunjin snickered, popping a chip as Felix crawled on top of him, “seriously?”

  
  


“The most serious! If he has freckles, floor it!”

  
  


“You’re ridiculous.” 

  
  


“My freckles are the only ones you are ever gonna love!” 

  
  


Felix was half serious. 

  
  


“Your freckles are the only frecklesI’ll ever see,” hyunjin wrapped his arms around Felix’s back, the blonde offering a pout in return, “my constellation.”

  
  


“Oh so you own them now?” Felix snickered. 

  
  


Hyunjin flipped them, laying over Felix who was letting out small annoyed sighs as Hyunjin kissed his cheeks, “yes.”

  
  


“Well when one of us dies, I give you permission to like someone else’s constellation—just no freckles!” 

  
  


Hyunjin pulled back, “well, I’m not interested in anyone else’s constellation. Just yours.”

  
  


Felix smirked, “if the fast food kills you first, can I find another tall tree to climb? Call it  _ my  _ constellation.”

  
  


“I hate you!” Hyunjin moved his lips to Felix’s, giggles between them as Hyunjin ran his fingers up Felix’s shirt, running along the slight raises of moles and where he knew freckles lived. 

  
  


He loved Felix. 

  
  


———

  
  


He’d never stop loving Felix. 

  
  


But with time, he’d taken Felix’s permission and found another constellation—no  _ freckles _ !

  
  


There were a lot of things that Hyunjin wanted to do in his life. And in just four years from meeting Chan, he’d gone skydiving, they’d gone on a cruise, and now—

  
  


And now they were married. 

  
  


It took Hyunjin all the courage in the world to move on. It took him endless nights of crying and trying to grasp what had happened, but he was finally here. And he’d never forget Felix. He’d never forget the time he spent with Felix, Seungmin, and Minho. They were all just as important as Chan was. 

  
  


Hyunjin’s heart had always had plenty of room, but with the four men he felt it was now full. They were...Hyunjin could just look up into the sky and see them all in the stars.  _ They _ were his constellation. All four of them. They all owned a special part of him. And he’d never let them go. 

  
  


He finally felt at peace. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the sequel to holes! Although Felix, Seungmin, and Minho had it rough, I hope Hyunjin’s end is okay! 
> 
> Also: I don’t know why on earth I have to do this but please do not reupload my work under any circumstances. If you’d like to for any reason please message me first, do not reupload my work. If you see my works on wattpad please report them, I will never grant permission for wattpad.  
> [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/skzorcism)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/Str4y)


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